officialfrenchtoast:

modern day rebels

4 months ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 287,069 notes
vardaesque:


saevuswinds:

vardaesque:

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

BLESS YOU

vardaesque:

saevuswinds:

vardaesque:

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

BLESS YOU

5 months ago on March 16th, 2014 | J | 1,057,795 notes

marijuana0logy:

the last one hahahahaha

5 months ago on March 16th, 2014 | J | 75,277 notes
5 months ago on March 16th, 2014 | J | 285,563 notes

Impractically Awesome Furniture

grimmzai:

leanaisnotabanana:

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These balls you can rearrange using the sorcery of velcro

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packman, enough said

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this drippy wood table thing

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Cubes in so many forms wow

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legos doing the same thing but legos so

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this just looks cool 

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squishy rock pillow things

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reading nook which actually is the most practical thing here

I want all of the things.

5 months ago on March 16th, 2014 | J | 39,876 notes
5 months ago on March 16th, 2014 | J | 1,154,412 notes

paintvrlife:

Leonid Afremov is a passionate painter from Mexico who paints with palette knife with oil on canvas. He loves to express the beauty, harmony and spirit of this world in his paintings, which are rich in different moods, colors and emotions.

5 months ago on March 16th, 2014 | J | 129,018 notes

violinvirtuoso:

I’ve recently decided to freeze myself to -273℃. My friends think I’ll die, but I’ll be 0K.

5 months ago on March 16th, 2014 | J | 133,999 notes

tsumitzu:

If I don’t remember who I am, then who’s to say I’m not a princess or a duchess or a whatever she is… Right?

5 months ago on March 16th, 2014 | J | 15,056 notes

route126:

white people talking about their ethnicitiesimage

8 months ago on January 4th, 2014 | J | 54,532 notes
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Bethel. 17. Community, Sherlock, Castle, Big Bang Theory, The Office, Parks and Recreation, Friends, Supernatural, How I Met Your Mother.
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